Help Your Teen Become BFFs with their Anxiety
You can’t stop the waves, but you can learn to surf” –Jon Kabat-Zinn
Anxiety among teens is not to be taken lightly. According to the National Institutes of Health, nearly 1 in 3 of all adolescents, ages 13 to 18, will experience an anxiety disorder. These stats combined with the rate of hospital admissions for suicidal teenagers also doubling over the past decade leaves us with many concerning questions.
However, instead of viewing anxiety as a major problem to be feared, what if we shifted our perspective and faced it head on? What if we approached anxiety with the mindset that the problem isn’t anxiety itself–it’s our response to it!
Think of it this way–we have always needed anxiety to survive as humans. Anxiety is indeed a natural and adaptive response that has evolved to help humans navigate threats and challenges. It’s part of the body’s built-in alarm system, often referred to as the “fight or flight” response. In situations where there is a perceived threat, whether real or imagined, the brain activates this alarm system to prepare the body to respond effectively. The release of stress hormones, increased heart rate, and heightened alertness are all part of the body’s efforts to cope with the perceived danger.
The trouble arises when teens engage in avoidance or attempts to control anxiety in ways that may be counterproductive. Avoidance behaviors can limit life experiences and reinforce the perception that certain situations are dangerous. This can lead to a cycle where avoidance becomes a default response, making it challenging to confront and overcome anxiety-provoking situations.
By helping our teens to understand anxiety as a natural part of the human experience and developing adaptive coping strategies, they can learn to navigate life’s challenges with greater resilience and flexibility. It’s a shift from viewing anxiety as the enemy to recognizing it as a signal that something important needs attention and is a potential opportunity for growth and learning. Here are some ways to help your teen face the challenges presented and help them get better acquainted with their anxiety:
1. Help Your Teen Get Into Their Body: Help your teen recognize the physical symptoms of anxiety, such as butterflies in the stomach, sweaty palms, shaky hands, a faster heartbeat, and tight muscles. Understand that these sensations are part of the body’s stress response, and they are uncomfortable but not harmful.
2. Understand How To Embrace A Growth Mindset: Educate your teen on how to embrace a growth mindset which is a powerful first step towards overcoming anxiety and enhancing your abilities. A growth mindset acknowledges that change is possible, and with effort and practice, improvement can be achieved.
3. Teach Your Teen To Accept And Observe: Help your teen to practice acceptance of these feelings without being overwhelmed by them. Instead of pushing these sensations away, try allowing them to exist in the background of their awareness.
4. Instill Mindful Breathing: Teach your teen to engage in slow, deliberate breathing exercises when they feel anxious. Teach them to inhale slowly and deeply, ensuring a complete exhale. They can use their fingers to count breaths. Slow breathing helps regulate the release of stress hormones, promoting a sense of ease in both the body and mind.
5. Work On Positive Self-Talk: Encourage your teen to be conscious of their internal dialogue during moments of anxiety. They can challenge negative thoughts by replacing them with positive affirmations. For example, replace “I can’t do this!” with “I can do this!” or “It’s OK to feel anxious. I can do this anyway.”
6. Face The Challenge: Help your teen to resist the urge to avoid situations that trigger anxiety. Instead, confront the events directly. Understand that waiting for anxiety to disappear before facing a situation is not effective. It’s the act of facing the anxiety that helps diminish it over time.
7. Take Small Steps: You and your teen can begin with manageable, small steps to gradually build your tolerance for anxiety-provoking situations. Each successful experience will contribute to increased confidence and better anxiety management.
8. Practice Patience: Understand that overcoming anxiety is a gradual process for your teen that requires time and consistent effort. Be patient with them and celebrate small victories along the way.
Remember, developing resilience to anxiety is a skill that improves with practice. By understanding their anxiety and implementing these strategies, your teen can gradually build the tools needed to manage anxiety and approach challenges with confidence–tools we can all benefit from to have a successful and fulfilling life.
